1
00:00:07,485 --> 00:00:09,618
<i>♪ MTV ♪</i>

2
00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:11,881
[both chuckling]

3
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:14,840
<i>[rock music]</i>

4
00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:21,804
<i>♪ ♪</i>

5
00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:32,423
<i>We now return to hour four
of the "Hoarders" marathon.</i>

6
00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,512
<i>His daughter told us
it was bad,</i>

7
00:00:34,599 --> 00:00:36,471
<i>but nothing prepared us
for this.</i>

8
00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:38,386
Let's watch something else,
Butt-Head.

9
00:00:38,473 --> 00:00:40,388
[snickers]
- Uh...

10
00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:41,911
no way.

11
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:44,740
Those chicks at school said
they love this show.

12
00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:47,047
And now we must figure out why

13
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:50,137
so that we can score with them.
[chortles]

14
00:00:50,224 --> 00:00:52,313
<i>You've hit rock bottom,</i>

15
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,576
<i>but we are going to help you
get your life back.</i>

16
00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:56,404
<i>[sobbing]</i>

17
00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:57,666
Whoa!

18
00:00:57,753 --> 00:00:59,537
Whoa, she is really
into this dude.

19
00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,452
Look at that.
- Whoa.

20
00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:03,063
You think she's gonna score
with him?

21
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,412
- Uh...
- [snickers]

22
00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:06,153
Of course she is.

23
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,546
Just look at her go. [chuckles]

24
00:01:08,633 --> 00:01:09,852
Ooh, things are getting
out of hand here.

25
00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:12,202
Whoa. [snickering]

26
00:01:12,289 --> 00:01:14,596
No wonder chicks love
this show.

27
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:17,642
They like to score
with disgusting hoarder dudes.

28
00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:19,209
[sniggling]

29
00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:20,950
We know what we have to do.
[remote clicks]

30
00:01:21,037 --> 00:01:23,474
It is time to become hoarders.

31
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:25,737
Let's fill this house
with garbage.

32
00:01:25,824 --> 00:01:27,739
[both chuckling]
- Cool.

33
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,394
Damn it, Beavis.

34
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:32,396
How are we gonna fill
this house with garbage

35
00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:35,225
when it's full of all this crap
you left on the floor?

36
00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:37,488
Oh, yeah, yeah.

37
00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:40,274
Well, I guess we better
clean it up.

38
00:01:40,361 --> 00:01:43,364
<i>[upbeat electronic music]</i>

39
00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:50,371
<i>♪ ♪</i>

40
00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:57,247
And done.

41
00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:59,075
[grunts] We did it. Yeah.

42
00:01:59,162 --> 00:02:01,425
We sure did. [chuckles]

43
00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:04,602
And now let's get to work.
[chortles]

44
00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:06,561
[grunting]

45
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:07,779
[clattering]

46
00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:09,259
[grunts]

47
00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:13,350
Hello.

48
00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:15,787
I'm Gary Ray Smith,
the Knitting Man.

49
00:02:15,874 --> 00:02:20,575
Welcome to my first episode
for my YouTube channel.

50
00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:24,666
This episode is called
"How I Learned to Knit."

51
00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:25,884
<i>Huh.</i>

52
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:27,930
<i>Oh, boy. [snickers]</i>

53
00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:30,019
Did you get that, Beavis?

54
00:02:30,106 --> 00:02:32,761
It's called,
"How I Learned to Knit."

55
00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:34,458
[chuckling]

56
00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:36,808
<i>The Knitting Man's
origin story.</i>

57
00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:38,984
<i>[laughing]</i>

58
00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:41,509
The boring-gin story.
[snickers]

59
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:44,990
So first of all, I want
to say why I started--

60
00:02:45,077 --> 00:02:48,516
By day, he's an interesting
man that people wanna be with.

61
00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:51,910
But then by night,
he becomes Knitting Man,

62
00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:53,869
<i>the most boring person alive.</i>

63
00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:56,915
<i>[both chortling]</i>

64
00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:59,570
<i>He bores his enemies
to death. [snickers]</i>

65
00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:01,703
<i>Able to put
an entire building</i>

66
00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:03,835
<i>full of people to sleep
with one story.</i>

67
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:07,578
<i>[both guffawing]</i>

68
00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:09,798
Look up there.
It's somebody cool.

69
00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,887
It's somebody I wanna
hang out with.

70
00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:13,889
No, it's Knitting Man.

71
00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:16,805
<i>[chortling]</i>

72
00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:20,200
So it looks like there
aren't any floats,

73
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:23,377
and I say it's
a no-float method,

74
00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:25,944
but really, there are floats.

75
00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:27,511
They're just one stitch long.

76
00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:30,514
What a lying sack of crap
he is.

77
00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:32,864
He just said there
are no floats,

78
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:34,649
but there are floats!

79
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:36,520
<i>See?
- Yeah, really. [chuckles]</i>

80
00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:38,827
<i>Kids could be watching this.</i>

81
00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:41,133
I mean, it's one thing
to bore everyone to death,

82
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,223
but don't lie. [snickers]

83
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:45,877
I mean, the truth
is boring enough!

84
00:03:45,964 --> 00:03:49,968
My wife, by the way,
is called the Knitting Widow

85
00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:51,666
because she--

86
00:03:51,753 --> 00:03:54,582
Because she wants to kill me.
[chuckling]

87
00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:57,062
People often ask me,
"Does your wife knit?"

88
00:03:57,149 --> 00:03:58,977
And the answer is, she can--

89
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:01,066
His wife is made out of yarn.

90
00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:04,026
[both laughing]

91
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:07,247
<i>[upbeat acoustic music]</i>
- [inaudible]

92
00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,771
<i>[chuckles]</i>

93
00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:11,338
<i>Why are you doing this
with your life?</i>

94
00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:14,471
<i>[both snickering]</i>

95
00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:17,692
[both grunting]

96
00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:19,694
[shattering]

97
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:22,349
[chortling]

98
00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:25,787
And some of that.

99
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:27,310
[both grunting]

100
00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:31,227
[clattering]

101
00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:32,750
There we go.

102
00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:36,058
Now let's go check out
our new chick magnet.

103
00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:38,669
[clattering]

104
00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:40,236
Whoa.

105
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,804
This is cool. [chuckles]

106
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:44,284
Cool. [snickers]

107
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,547
We're hoarders now.

108
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,897
It's time to go tell
those chicks at school.

109
00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:50,551
[chuckles]

110
00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:52,248
And then we'll bring 'em
back here

111
00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:54,337
and let nature take its course.

112
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:56,165
[both snickering]

113
00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:57,166
Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing.

114
00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:58,515
[sniggling]

115
00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:02,214
Um, uh, Butt-Head?

116
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,695
Um, where's the door?

117
00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:06,523
Uh...

118
00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:08,830
I don't know. [chuckles]

119
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,397
Um...

120
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:12,224
maybe it's this way.

121
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,489
[clattering]

122
00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:19,188
Oh, yeah.

123
00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:20,537
Yeah, this looks familiar.

124
00:05:22,017 --> 00:05:24,411
Uh, here we go.

125
00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:27,370
[clattering]

126
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:32,114
Oh.

127
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:34,246
We're here again. [snickers]

128
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,814
Uh, maybe it's this way.

129
00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:37,946
[chuckles]

130
00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:39,469
Oh, yeah, yeah.

131
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:42,342
[clattering]
[grunting]

132
00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:44,953
Okay, okay. Here we go.

133
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,084
Yeah, yeah.

134
00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:47,347
Yeah, I think the door's
over here.

135
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:48,739
Chicks, here we come.

136
00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:50,219
[chuckles]
- Yeah.

137
00:05:50,306 --> 00:05:51,873
Right this way. [snickers]

138
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,919
[clattering]

139
00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:56,225
Eh.

140
00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:58,009
Oh, this is it. Yeah.

141
00:05:58,096 --> 00:05:59,750
Um...[chuckles]

142
00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:02,231
Um, uh, is this the same place?

143
00:06:02,318 --> 00:06:05,452
Uh, I think so.

144
00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:07,410
[chuckles]
- Um...

145
00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:09,107
um, Butt-Head?

146
00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:12,328
We can't find the door.
[snickers]

147
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:13,938
Are we stuck in here forever?

148
00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:16,158
Uh...

149
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:18,421
this sucks. [chortles]

150
00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:23,470
Uh, where's the door,
damn it?

151
00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:25,123
[chuckles]
- Um...

152
00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:28,126
I can't remember if the house
used to have a door.

153
00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:29,563
[snickering]

154
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:32,261
It had walls.
I do remember that.

155
00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:34,785
[snickers] They were cool.

156
00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:36,831
But, um, you know,
you gotta admit,

157
00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:39,703
um, it's kinda cozy this way,
you know?

158
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:41,270
Pretty cozy. Yeah.

159
00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:42,837
[snickers]

160
00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:44,404
Uh...

161
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:47,319
I think the door is over there.
[chuckles]

162
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,017
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

163
00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:50,975
Uh, don't touch the newspapers.

164
00:06:51,062 --> 00:06:52,107
No. [snickers]

165
00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:54,588
Uh, why not?

166
00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:56,503
I just like 'em
where they are.

167
00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:58,635
Don't touch 'em. [snickers]

168
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:01,159
They're just old newspapers, dumbass.

169
00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:04,424
Yeah. But I-I might wanna
read 'em.

170
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,208
You can't even read.

171
00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:07,862
I might learn, though,
you know?

172
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,429
From the newspapers, you know?

173
00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:11,213
Like, maybe there's, like,
a "How to Read" section

174
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,171
in there or something.
Just don't take 'em.

175
00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:14,346
[snickers]

176
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,174
I have to move
the damn newspapers

177
00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:18,525
so we can get out
of the damn house.

178
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,396
They're good newspapers.

179
00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:22,442
Those newspapers are
worth $200, I bet.

180
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,226
Yeah. I could sell 'em.

181
00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:25,445
Don't touch 'em.

182
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,011
Beavis, you butthole.

183
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:29,318
We finally became hoarders
and now all you wanna do

184
00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:31,494
is hang on to all this stuff
you don't need.

185
00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:32,756
[chortles]

186
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:34,454
Those chicks are at school
right now,

187
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:36,586
waiting to score with us.

188
00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:38,153
Oh, yeah, yeah.

189
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,328
Oh, yeah. That's right. Yeah.

190
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:41,330
Yeah, scoring.

191
00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:43,114
Yeah, sorry, Butt-Head,
I just got a little crazy here.

192
00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:45,334
I forgot what's
really important.

193
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:47,336
Let's go score. [snickers]

194
00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:49,556
Good. [chuckles]

195
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:53,037
Or are you just trying to
trick me out of my newspapers?

196
00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:55,257
[snickers]
- Damn it, Beavis.

197
00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,519
No!

198
00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:57,781
- [grunts]
- Uh...

199
00:07:57,868 --> 00:07:59,479
No! No, no!

200
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:01,481
No! Ahh!

201
00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:07,051
Butt-Head. [grunts, coughs]

202
00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:08,749
Butt-Head.

203
00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:10,968
Butt-Head, can you hear me?
[grunts]

204
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:13,449
Are the newspapers okay?

205
00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:15,190
[grunting]

206
00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:17,061
Can you see 'em? [snickers]

207
00:08:17,148 --> 00:08:20,108
Beavis, you're a dumbass.
[chuckles]

208
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,767
I'm getting used to it
in here.

209
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,029
It's nice.

210
00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:29,726
Very comforting.

211
00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,206
Ahh. [snickering]

212
00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:33,121
[clattering]

213
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:34,470
Whoa.

214
00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:35,993
After all that crap fell
on you, I can, like,

215
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,604
see the window and stuff.

216
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,475
We can escape.

217
00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:42,217
I'm gonna climb out of here
and go talk to those chicks.

218
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:43,610
[chuckles]

219
00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:46,613
Fine. Go ahead. [chuckles]

220
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,702
Well, I'm leaving, Beavis.

221
00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:50,878
Good. Yeah. [snickers]

222
00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:53,054
Got everything I need
right here.

223
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:55,578
Got newspapers and--

224
00:08:55,665 --> 00:08:57,406
and the darkness and, um--

225
00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:59,147
whoa.

226
00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:02,019
Whoa, there's some empty cans.
[snickering]

227
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:03,281
That reminds me of when
I was a kid.

228
00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:05,153
Yeah. [snickers]

229
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,807
Okay, Beavis.

230
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,156
If that's the way
you want it,

231
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:11,246
I'll go score by myself.
[chortles]

232
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,204
Yeah, maybe bring some chicks
back too, you know,

233
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:14,989
if they like empty cans,
you know.

234
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:16,338
[both chuckling]

235
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:18,819
[grunting]

236
00:09:18,906 --> 00:09:20,516
[rumbling]

237
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:22,300
Uh...

238
00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:23,388
ahh!

239
00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:25,347
[clattering]

240
00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:30,787
[grunts] Damn it.

241
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:32,049
[chuckles]

242
00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:33,442
Whoa, look.

243
00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:35,487
I bet this mayonnaise
is still good.

244
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,359
[snickering]

245
00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,274
If I ever get out of here,

246
00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:41,624
I'm gonna kill you, Beavis.

247
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:43,452
[chortling]

248
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:45,759
Don't wanna eat it yet,
though. [snickers]

249
00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:48,065
It could be worth something,
you know?

250
00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:50,720
Yeah. It's a collectible.
[snickers]

251
00:09:51,895 --> 00:09:54,724
[machinery rumbling]

252
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,686
[crashing]

253
00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:09,043
Oh, no.

254
00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:10,784
Now we gotta halt construction

255
00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:13,438
while the police come
check this out.

256
00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:15,615
Well, I didn't see it
if you didn't see it.

257
00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:19,793
[both grunt]

258
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,709
<i>[rock music]</i>